PR crisis skills help with family crises too

By on September 8th, 2009 In Uncategorized

I’m in the middle of a family crisis.  I tried to plan for it, but when you’re up against a mother-daughter dynamic, it’s not as easy as dealing with a high-tech executive.

Did all I could ahead of time, knowing the inevitable.    Picture an 85-year-old woman in a house she’s lived in since 1965, with mail that’s never been thrown out, material scraps and coupons everywhere, and food that dates back to 1988.   No kidding.  

This past year, I bullied her into getting her will, power of attorney, etc updated.  I’m a co-signature authority on her bank account.  And 5 years ago, I forced her to walk through the house with me and identify the history behind all the antiques.   That was as much as I could plan ahead without making her cry and accuse me of “just wishing [she] were dead.”

I flew out here a couple of weeks ago expecting a regular visit, and ended up calling an ambulance for my mother.   No one around with to consult.   And I fell automatically into PR crisis mode.    You do what you have to do.    You treat it like a high-tech PR emergency:

  • consolidate all the important phone numbers
  • keep everyone apprised
  • create an action sheet and delegate
  • start a triage of priority-dependent tasks
  • brainstorm with the “experts” in your circle.

I’m lucky that I have an aunt and uncle who are both RNs, another aunt who is a social worker, a brother who is a mechanic, and another brother who can sweet-talk all the friends and neighbors.   My husband is a former Marine, so he’s used to “adjusting to field conditions on the ground.”   This is my panel of experts.

My relatives have all told me they admire my strength.   Strength?  I didn’t view it that way.  It’s just the public relations skills coming to the fore.    So know that because of your profession, no matter what life throws your way, you will be able to handle it.    You’ve trained for it your whole life.   You WON’T turn into Chicken Little.

Comments

Pat Elliott Says:
September 8th, 2009 at 12:43 pm

Linda, you’re always an inspiration.Even when the sky is falling you find a way to make everything work out just fine. Best wishes for your mom’s last days and the precious time you have left. Please remember you have a big army of “experts” in Phoenix here to provide remote support and help. Take good care. Pat

Wendy Kenney @23Kazoos Says:
September 9th, 2009 at 6:56 am

Hi Linda,

Your mom is lucky to have such you. :)

Wendy Kenney @23Kazoos Says:
September 9th, 2009 at 6:56 am

Too early. I meant to say she’s lucky to have a daughter like you. :)

Mike Padgett Says:
September 9th, 2009 at 10:13 am

Linda: Your heartfelt comments, though painful, are a must-read for everyone whose parents are approaching their sunset years. Thank you for sharing.

Kasey Broach Says:
September 9th, 2009 at 11:25 am

Hang in there Linda! I know it’s not an easy thing to go through!

Karl Knelson Says:
September 9th, 2009 at 11:33 am

Thank you Linda for the insight. I know I will have to someday deal with my mom. I am pretty positive it won’t be easy. You are absolutely right though, and it is easy to forget, but we have built up plenty of good resources over the years just waiting to be tapped for such emergencies.

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